Excuse me Guys, PMS again!!!

Legal Disclaimer: Anybody who knows me will also know that I have hundreds of male friends and I love them to bits. If these blogs irritate you, excuse me, I am just being a bad girl. And well, I can always blame it on PMS!!! Take it with a pinch of salt and oodles of good humor!

Ten different types of Men: (Mixed Caricatures of different men I have known)

1) The Poet-Rascal-Clown: The kind of person I would call a good friend. Generally quiet, with excellent literary skills and a taste for poetry. Quick witted, extremely intelligent in the quirkiest way. Funny in the weirdest possible way. Loves to travel - even if that means taking a boat to a random place. From time to time, makes you wonder if its just friendship (Like a time when you both happened to be in a quiet place with a door and there was electricity in the air)...and yet, you dont want to spoil it because you know that you may loose a good friend (from personal experience). Generally sports wacky looks - shaved head/long hair, wisps of facial hair, bandana/ assortment of body ornaments, piercings.

2) The David Hasselhoff: Tall, Blonde and Extremely gorgeous with a weakness for Olive skin and beach body. Generally has a bad case of Foot-in-the-mouth disease. Tends to give you serious doubts - like the time he hugs his best mate, reads the Glamour Magazine and wears a pink T-shirt to the house party AND looks ahem, Good in it!!!!! Spells 'Relationship' 'p-h-o-b-i-a'. Known among his friends for his propensity to court 16 year olds.

3) The Geek: The one who is the a) Doctor b) Chartered Accountant or c) Civil Engineer. Talks about his a) adventures in the labour room (GULP!) b) inability to understand the need for music in life or c) dream house which he intends to share with you-know-who (Jeeey-sus!!). Will generally tell you that he 'always had the first rank' and 'doesn't like being second'. Generally has the worst dress sense in the world. Is usually rich, the only reason to go out with him twice. And obviously, the fact that he wouldn't notice much if you keep nodding from time to time while dreaming about no 2.

4) The boy next door: The first 'man' you fell in 'love' with. You still keep in touch with him, but situations have become awkward. He grew up to be a decent guy who would love you to bits if only you would give him a chance. And you grew up to be the b*tch who wants 'adventure'. The person you call after a bad domestic/ severe bout of PMS/ too much alcohol. The one you think about whenever you are lonely and pathetic. And do you learn not to hurt the kind? Nien, nyet, nada!!

5) The Rapunzel: The laziest bum in the world who sports long hair because the barber is down the road and wouldn't come to him on a white horse. Is generally intelligent, but you tend to wonder if there are cobwebs in his attic. You have offered to wash his hair because he wouldn't do it. Generally survives with the help of an idiotic, blonde, female slave ( mother /sister /girlfriend) who sends money, food and advice free of cost.

6) The firang: The guy who doesn't speak any of the languages you speak and yet fancies you. Is choooo chweet, generally works in the coffee shop/sandwich bar and makes it his responsibility to feed you well. Cracks you up when he stares intently into your eyes and asks 'cucumber?' with a strong Eastern European/ Italian accent. You make his day by thanking him in his own language (Polish: (Excuse the extra stuff under the 'e')Dziekuje, Italain: Grazie) and adding his name (refer lapel for the badge and the name).

7) The best friend: The one you did not complicate things with (kudos to you girl!!). Sends you birthday cards and friendship day cards and deliberately forgets the stamp on them!!! The one you grew up with. He calls you for the shopping trip in search of the perfect jewellery for his girlfriend and makes you pay for your own milkshake. Comes to you to cry after the girl has left, you tell him that all girls including you are b*tches but he says you are different! And you love him to bits and cry because you miss him when you write this blog.

8) The Boss: Is generally twice your age, brags that he would have had a child your age if he planted the right 'seeds' at the right 'place' (Too subtle!!!). Fancies you, and you fancy him too... for all the wrong reasons (Help!! I am Bridget Jones). You generally end up realising that you were his midlife crisis... and yet, you 'miss' him, and call him to say hai. And ya, he generally is the one who introduced Alcohol/Cigarettes/Weed in your life.

9) The Stranger: The daredevil who asked for your phone number at an interview/ complimented you on your intelligence rather than your looks/shared a bottle of champagne with you simply because he wanted 'someone to share it with'. On those weepy days, He is the reason which stops you from slitting your wrists (sigh!! there are men who find me attractive, let me not kill myself). The memories of enigma, the cheer factor which keeps you going 24-7.

10) The One: HAHAHA!!!! Not yet, ladies and gentlemen!!!