Coming to Belfast

I guess my previous post was a wee bit hard on the male population. Being an avid critic of the lack of humor sense, it wouldnt be fair if I did not laugh about myself. Here is an attempt to tell you what I was like precisely 9 months back and what I am right now...

September 20th, 2005

Gitanjali Menon, a tough looking, proud idiot reached Cochin International airport en familie. Dint shed a tear even as mommy weeped and daddy fought back tears. 45 minutes and voila, Srilanka. Spent the night with strangers, good fun, went for a swim in my pants and t-shirt (was too shy to take anything off!!). Had fine wine, courtesy, a couple who were celebrating the end of their honeymoon. In a way, I celebrated my independence too... toasted my first glass of wine, gripping it like a coffee mug.

September 22nd, 2005 (I dont remember the 21st, Jet lagged, loooooong flight from Colombo to Heathrow)

Early morning, woke up drenched in tears. I have never been away from home in my entire life!! Realised that the bed tea requires you to go down and put the kettle on. Also realised that every single person in the world did not speak English. Started a conversation with Francesca, the Italian doll... she stopped with 'hello, how are you? scusi, non talk english'.

Fast Forward...June 29th, 2006....
Honest list of things I learned and will never learn
1) Gitanjali is probably one of the longest and most difficult first names for a European... Hence call yourself Gili (with different versions for different countries, including the Japanese Geri) or Alice (to call the taxi service).
2) Tea with milk is a big no no anywhere else in EU other than UK... drink it like that and you get strange looks and comments (Alex, French) "Gilee (one of my various names) drinks shit-culoured (the french way to say coloured) tea (vomits)"
3) People with whom you cannot talk in the beginning may end up being your best friends.
4) Do not call Jelly that in front of an American; he will correct you and make you call it Jell-O, even if you start talking about branding and its influence.
5) Use cutlery as much as possible, the moment you dig in with your hands, get ready to explain the customs and mores in your country (Can somebody explain how to eat Naan (Naan bread as I call it now) with a fork and knife? I will never learn!!).
6) Whenever you wear a bindi, you will have to explain why you are doing it (Decoration was boring, so I am more creative these days. One of my explanations included the ancient practice of practising archery on your wife!).
7) Hairdressing is one of the best professions in the world (Wish I did a course back home!!).
8) The most polite person I have met in my life is a Pakistani!!!
9) Alcohol has to be enjoyed responsibly. Smoking has to be avoided at all costs, especially since its mad expensive here.
10) Treat every day as a learning experience - you do screw up at times (Recently, I poured mint chutney over a customer's leather jacket) and make a total jughead out of yourself at other times... (My boss asked me a couple of questions about a file which I had supposedly gone through, bullshitted my way through them, but ultimately he found me searching for the very file in his PA's office!! Such is life...) Live and learn....

Well, Blogging. Why dint I think of this before? I know, dint have much to write. I think I have something to write about now, and hence this post.

I was going through a friend's profile on Orkut, came across a link. There was a video of this amazing American dude doing a spoof on Bollywood. He was dancing to the tune of Pyar kiya to nibhana... Brilliant maaan. And there were some 100 indo-pakis bad mouthing him and his cheek to dare such a thing. I was pissed, come on, who wouldnt be if people act as if they dont have any humor sense?

I then visited paagalguy.com and read this article on what NOT to do for an interview. It was hilarious and well written. Full credit to the person who wrote it. Again, there were blokes asking whether it 'benefitted' anyone!!!

Whats wrong with Indian men (and women)? Have you killed your sense of humor with CAT? Or have you sold your brains to Sharukh?

If you cant laugh at yourself, its not worth living people. Its a short life. My friend published this blog on why Indian men are desperate to get a decent girl. My answer is 'You have nooooo humor sense, work on it please'. Go ahead, lets start with Malayala Manorama weekly. I hope they still have a PJ page which Srinivasan (a great Malayalam screenplay writer, rather poor actor) utilises in 'Thalayanamanthram' (or was it 'vadakkunokkiyanthram'?). Reader's Digest certainly has humor pages. Go online. Do something serious.

Now, if you intend to copy-paste this blog and correct my grammar/spelling/syntax/whatever, I tell you, you are hopeless. Contact Chucky (refer my Orkut profile) for IMMEDIATE surgery.